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Spankablebutt

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Everything posted by Spankablebutt
 
 
  1. Only had 4 cups of water so far:

    nned at Least 8 more cups today ... and it is already almost 5 pm.

    TIME TO CHUG water!

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    1. Pandie

      Pandie

      Good luck!

  2. Have-A-Beautiful-Day-Dazzling-Graphic11.gif

    1. Pandie

      Pandie

      Thank you, beautiful!

    2. Mum

      Mum

      Thanks, you too 😘

  3. Okay - so even though today is day 1 of the extended HSDG - I am still posting in here. There is no real point in making separate place for extended 😛 But , I pretty much am sure I am just going to fast today....but I can have up to 900 cals today.
  4. and today was a crap mess - emotionally and food wise. Do not know what I ate, cal wise.... Was junk-ish food. No binge though and I did purge a bit I just am more concentrating on survival of the day than cals today... which, surprised the crap out of me.
  5. Hey - I am starting the " extended HSGD" on Saturday! Would you like to join me?
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    1. Pandie

      Pandie

      Thank you beautiful 💜

  7. Great - I tell myself to get off PAO for a few days ....and yet, here I am , what... an hour or so later...back on 😞

    I have nowhere else to go, I can't talk to anyone....I have nothing I can get myself to do.

    so I sit and stare at the screen.

    Maybe if I just keep this screen open and clean my room - it will feel like I am not so alone?

    1. Mum

      Mum

      Luv ya ❤  Glad you are not isolating yourself.

    2. ghostingboy
  8. and just btw:

    I deleted my saved messages  on PAO.

     I did NOT block anyone.

    I WOULD NOT BLOCK ANYONE.

    It came to my attention that it says" the user has left the conversation.

    If , in case, anyone tried to message me : no, i did not block you.

    I just deleted my messages because they were making me sad.

    1. Mum

      Mum

      *hugs. If you want to chat, trust me that I can relate. Remember the situation I told you about with getting away? And how my Dad is? Well it all blew up last night. Right now I am just riding the waves of how I am feeling. Trying not to act out on self harm. Trust me when I say that even when you are discouraged (and post/message about it) that you/your words are not pulling us down. I know for myself, it helps remind me that I am not alone in my struggles and that others can relate ... Maybe we cannot resolve whatever is going on negatively in another friend's life but we can share the experience together and be there for one another, even if it is just our presence. I appreciate you being there, even if just for the sake of being there ... Try not to isolate yourself. Luv ya ❤😘

  9. giphy.gif

    Leaving PAO for a few days because no one wants to hear this stupid negativity anymore.

    EVEN I HATE MYSELF.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Spankablebutt

      Spankablebutt

      I love you guys, thank you  for being a support to me.

      I am not leaving - I just meant I was ( lol, didn't work out that way) going to take a few days off because I hate how negatve I am and i don't want to spread bad vibes.

      But , yeah, you are right, poorclare...venting in a safe space is healthy.

      Though, my preference would just to be happy all the time.

      But I do not seem to be able to do that.

       

    3. PooreClare

      PooreClare

      No one can be happy all the time, unfortunately. Ups and downs are just part of the human condition. But you'll have really good days again soon. Just breathe.

    4. Spankablebutt

      Spankablebutt

      thank you for the reminder.

      I am hanging on...

      it is just harder sometimes to do so than others.

      Feeling better already though :' ( <---- hahahah, my attempt at smiling)

       

  10. have an awesome day ❤️ 

  11. Have a beautiful day my friend ❤️ 

  12. So - there is a post in Random Convo forum as well as in the Astrology Community ( for those in that).

    If you would like to take part of this wonderful new opportunity PAO is rolling out - and be allotted the zodiac award - 

    Just let me now via one of the threads, personal PM or respond right here!

    I do not know your birthday's, so you will have to tell me which sign IS Yours...and it would be great if you told me why you would like this award!

    Hope to hear from you soon because it is so so so much fun handing these out and so fun displaying them on our profiles ❤️  

  13. Starting Saturday:

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  14. I am such a horrible person that someone who was just trying to HELP me, I made them feel like crap and that they were bothering me. 

    See- this is what I do!

    I RUIN everything.

    If you know who you are, if you even read my status or are following me anymore after what I have done to you:

    please accept my apology.

    It is 100% MY FAULT - not yourself.

    And I do not judge you or blame you for getting out of my life now.

    save yourself from my chaos.

    I wish I could tell you how sorry I am.

    But I think you might have just blocked , ignored me or gotten offline.

    PSA: EVERYONE - JUST LEAVE ME. RUN, DON'T WALK. 

    I WILL END UP screwing up things with us to.

    I am garbage, a mistake - and nothing good can come from that, 

    forgive-me...-i-really-sorry_1208.gif

     

    1. Mum

      Mum

      I hope you are okay hun. *hugs. I don't know the situation but from what I know about you, I think you are being extremely hard on yourself. You have the biggest heart and yes, none of us are perfect, so maybe you did or said something; but that doesn't write you off hun. I am not going anywhere and I doubt anyone else is either. Keep your chin up ❤

    2. Burger Queen

      Burger Queen

      I don't know what happened but I think you're being too hard on yourself. You seem like a nice person, not garbage. I hope you are okay. ❤️

  15. teen-wolf-allison-argent-cry-crying-crying-gif-crying-gif-tumblr-crying+gif.gif

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Mum

      Mum

      *hugs. We are with you in spirit and love even if we cannot be with you in person. I can definitely relate to how you are feeling. Luv ya 😘

    3. Pandie

      Pandie

      You're never alone with all of us here. <3 If we didn't want to talk, we wouldn't surround ourselves with people who understand so well. Stay strong, lovely. Everything will pass. 

    4. Spankablebutt

      Spankablebutt

      ❤️ I love you all ❤️ thank you for being so supportive and understanding ❤️ 

  16. hmmm, never really thought about it. Was always etched into my brain to not waste cals on liquids...but that just might work - to get super full 😛
  17. Good luck today! My meal plan: since it is 1,150 ( ugh) yogurt 80 oatmeal 120 That's breakfast Quest bar 200 That is lunch apple 55 cheese stick 50 That's snack bok choy 40 12 baby carrots 40 mixed veggies 60 1/2 cup soy crumbles 70 sliced potato 160 and a freaking yogurt to fill up cals and add protein - omg, imma going to puke after all that food That's Dinner sugar free jello fruit cup 40 apple 55 green beans 70 = 1,150/1,150 * Was doing that from memory - might not have done it perfect, but when I wrote it down - was all good.*
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    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Mum

      Mum

      You're welcome and thanks 🙂 Have to drop of an oxygen monitor that I used last night to follow up on my sleep apnea, so I have to get going unfortunately; but hope to get something nice to eat afterwards. (Contractor left us in a mess 4 years ago and declared bankruptcy, so he took the money and ran ... so we don't have a functioning kitchen - just one part he abandoned). Really nice family style restaurant over town that we really like 🙂 I will respond to your pm when my head is a bit better ❤

    3. Spankablebutt

      Spankablebutt

      okay! despite the kitchen and headache - have a beautiful day ❤️ 

    4. Mum

      Mum

      Thanks 🙂 You too 😘

  19. I successfully didn't purge meal.

    I am sort of wishing I did now.

    I SO feel the NEED to jump on and off the scale all night until I go to bed.

    I will not be doing that but still.....

     

    I would take lax tonight but I have to be out by 9:20 am tomorrow morning.

    hahahahah - that would not work out well.

    I guess I have to take it when I get home in the late afternoon - I have all Thursday free! 😛

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    1. Spankablebutt

      Spankablebutt

      I gave in and weighed....1.6 lbs bigger than this am...BUT - this is so normal for me for an evening weigh in. I always lose it by the morning and then some....

      so, according to my "scale-mathics" skills: I will lose weight tomorrow!

      ❤️ 

  20. thanks! good luck to you too! I shall see you here tomorrow night ❤️
 
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