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Status Replies posted by PAO
 
 
  1. I'm back. I just had to have a fucking break. Nothing is better.

    1. PAO

      PAO

      Hope you're doing ok!

  2. I'm trying to be happy and positive, I really am but theres always a voice in my head saying that everyone hates me and I don't belong here, it really gets to me

    1. PAO

      PAO

      Hon, you know that's not true! *hugs*

  3. Idk why, but today I seem not to be able to eat. I've eaten one cookie. I know I'll feel better after I ate, but I feel this like fasting 'high' (or high restricting if you look closely). It's quiet in my head and that's nice. I should eat but I don't want to, but I want to and idk what I want, help?! 😐

    1. PAO

      PAO

      The main thing is taking care of yourself and what you want. I don't think it should be about disappointing other people, but figuring out what is really going to make you happy.

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  4. hi hi my sweet PAO family! how have you all been?

  5. I can't study because...

    My desk isn't organised enough xD

     

    1. PAO

      PAO

      Maybe you can organize it first? 🙂 🙂 🙂 

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  6. Broke my water fast with a White Claw 70 seltzer water, could be worse, but I feel like shit. 

    1. PAO

      PAO

      That's really not bad at all hon!

  7. hello lovelies, 

    Am delighted to find your group. My name is Anna and will be your oldest member at 64 💕. Have a lifetime of eating disorder management and do hope to be a support to younger gals ! 

    1. PAO

      PAO

      So glad to have you here! Let me know if you there's anything you need hon.

  8. I actually got off my ass and went to the gym today, and not merely to get a massage. (Though I did get a massage once I was finished, and it was soooo good.)

  9. I let myself run out of Seroquel, so I haven't slept much the last couple of nights. Finally closed my eyes around five this morning, then had to get up at nine to let a worker into the house. Taking bets on how long I can live like this before Manic Clare makes a grand entrance.

  10. It’s looking like I’ll be start IOP soon. In other news, why the fuck is Russian food so fattening but everyone there is a dainty doll?? UGH. 

    1. PAO

      PAO

      It's because the diet pills they use are extremely overheating. They work extremely well, but unless you're outside with barely any clothes in extremely cold weather you can literally die of fever. I can only use these about 4 months out of the year.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  11. Trying to cut back to one diet soda a day, and sick of drinking water. I just made a pitcher of Crystal Light, and have some low sugar Capri Suns in the fridge. Any other hot weather hydration suggestions?

    1. PAO

      PAO

      I love my ghetto-made lemonade: water and splenda + lemon juice

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  12. I'm back and I have to say that this new PAO looks great! I've missed you all! I haven't been restricting lately so I didn't want to come here to see how well you all are doing... But now I'm back. I've moved to my own apartment (well, I'm renting this so it's not my own, I meant nobody else is living here) and I'm happy.

  13. ohohoho u can all see this now

    kermit de frog here 🐸

  14. *makes a selfie* hey! I look much thinner on my phone than in the mirror. The camera must have some kind of automatic slimming tool. 😂

    I've made a copy of my message just in case, hopefully it will stay this way ^^

  15. I just realized I joined exactly a year ago yesterday, which means it's been over a year since I relapsed for real lol sick

  16. Depression is rearing its ugly head agaiinalong with anxiety. I've been struggling to remember my anxiety meds which doesn't help much

  17. Just wanted to say hi. The beginning of summer socked me like a curve ball, but I'm in a position now to be more active here. I've missed you all, and hope you're well!

    1. PAO

      PAO

      Glad things have gotten a bit better!

  18. Read an article today that said the NHS waiting time for adults with eating disorders to get the mental health assistance needed is 31 months. Welcome to the UK. 

    1. PAO

      PAO

      That reminds me of the beginning of Nutriously Nicola! (check out the Film & Video collection!)

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  19. Uh oh, my weight is lower than expected and I don't want to admit it, but it triggers me. You know this turning point were you allow yourself to have that relapse. You 'accidentally' skip breakfast and yeah you might be a bit hungry but you're not really noticing it. Or when you don't eat and you're more focussed.. and it doesn't help me listen to my recovery voice. I know I'm in this dream right now where there are no bad side effects. Coming Monday I've got an appointment, I could tell her about this and not tell her the 'Oh, but I know what to do and I'll be fine', but the 'Oh, shit. I know what to do, but I might need some help with it'. Maybe I should tell the whole truth. 

    Would it be possible to live without relapses? Or is this something which will always come back when I'm stressed?

    1. PAO

      PAO

      If you are talking to a therapist or counselor I think you should always tell the truth.

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  20. I'm getting tired of my eating disorder or relapse or whatever it is. Both physically and mentally. It is making me tired because I don't eat and it is making me tired of the constant thought to eat or not to eat. I've been sitting here for 4 hours deciding if I should eat or not. Even if I say: you can do anything you want right now, I don't know what to do.  If I'm quick I can still join for the afternoon snack time. How can I be so determined that I have to eat in order to care for myself and not faint while doing lab work, and still decide not to eat. Well, I don't have anything in my house.. so I should buy stuff, but I can't. Something is stopping me. Why don't I want to take care of myself? Why ain't I just doing something I enjoy, instead of laying in bed, doing nothing. I really don't know and I wish I wasn't alone and I wish someone would tell me to just go do what I want. Because I know what I want. I want to drink tea at a certain place. It is okay to do nothing. But I want to get out of bed now. Maybe.. I don't know this whole eating thing is making me weird. Maybe I should just get out of bed and get some fresh air and wake up. 

    1. PAO

      PAO

      Do you have any super safe foods that would make the decision easier?

  21. Tomororw I shall figure out how to upload the 2 episodes of 600lb life I have. And I will go back to recording more. Should I upload them to YouTube? Would that work? Is there a way to drop them directly here?

    1. PAO

      PAO

      There is currently not a way to upload them here directly. What you you should is upload them to Youtube and set it as Unlisted (as opposed to Public or Private) with a generic title.

       

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  22. I'm back! I took some time off of PAO because I ate like crap and failed MABC again 🙁 I'm trying again soon.

  23. Buying a kitchen scale is one of the best purchases I've ever done. It's so comforting to know the exact amount of calories I consume.

    1. PAO

      PAO

      I requested one for Christmas and got it, so yay!

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  24. I bought me the German version of wintergirls and it’s so different to read.

    1. PAO

      PAO

      Can you go into some more detail? Does reading it in German make Wintergirls seem a little more sophisticated? Haha.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  25. Why's the logo all spooky now?

    1. PAO

      PAO

      Was just testing it with a black background 🙂

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

 
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